How To Decipher Winter Nonverbals
For most of us, this winter has been exceptionally cold. When I was skiing in Colorado earlier this month, there were days where the temps dropped to – 4º on the mountain. As you can see, I was dressed for it, but all...
When Laughter Isn’t Funny
I was recently interviewed by journalist Lisa Kanarek on why some people laugh at inappropriate times. In business, that might be when someone is told that a coworker has been passed over for a promotion or laid off. The expected response would be empathetic sadness,...
What’s Your Zoom Wave Look Like?
Think about the last virtual meeting you were on. Do you remember the nonverbal signal you saw – and probably showed – at the end of the meeting? The nonverbal gesture most participants show when meetings are over is so common, it’s been dubbed “The Zoom Wave.” Most...
Confessions of a W.I.M.P.
I admit it. I’m a W.I.M.P., but not the kind who is afraid of doing things. In my case, this is the euphemistic acronym for being a “What If” Master Planner. I’m in the habit of making contingency plans. Sometimes, it frustrates my family because I don’t ever pack...
Are There Universal Nonverbals?
Dr. Paul Ekman published his research identifying seven universal facial expressions of emotions back in the 1970’s. About four months ago, researchers published a new study showing evidence of a universal nonverbal communication system that comes into play when we...
The Flip Side of Emotional Intelligence
When I’m consulting with companies to help resolve issues between managers and direct reports, or even between partners, each party usually starts with “the blame game.” As I talk with each individual privately, they find it easy to talk about what other person...
Can You Believe What You See?
I just returned from a national conference where I was shown an AI application that will make it hard to believe what you see. Imagine seeing a video of a guy speaking to you about his business. Nothing too shocking about that… except that it isn’t really a video of...
Do You See a Conspiracy in the Background?
It’s not unusual for people to look for information that confirms their preconceived notions or beliefs. Search engines feed that bias by serving up information that aligns with an individual’s online behavior patterns. Sometimes this leads to conspiracy theories,...
Give Yourself a Break This Season
Is your busy holiday schedule creating stress instead of joy? A new study suggests that learning to say “no” to some invitations can benefit your emotional wellbeing without putting your relationships at risk. American Psychological Association researchers conducted...
How Top University Presidents Failed
The Congressional hearing with presidents of top universities was painful to watch. Rather than get into the politics, I’ll focus on how the presidents’ verbal and nonverbal communications triggered a strong backlash. Let’s start with the nonverbals: Did you...
There is No Pinocchio Response
Turns out people are really good at telling lies…and really bad at detecting them. Studies show most people are only about 50% accurate in spotting a lie. That’s the same as a coin toss. After years of research on nonverbal communications and deception, University at...
How Attitude Influences Brain Function
Can a positive outlook on life prevent dementia? According to new research, the answer is “No, but…” Scientists from Northwestern University and the University of California, Davis have found that individuals with a more optimistic outlook on life are less likely to...
Can Children Learn from Robots?
A few years ago, I met Richard Margolin, the founder of RoboKind. His company builds assistive robots and avatars to help teach children – especially those on the spectrum – how to interpret social cues. I was fascinated by his venture because of my work...
Do Some Nations Smile More?
When you travel abroad, have you noticed that people smile more in some countries than in others? One reason for this has nothing to do with whether people are feeling happy or not… According to an international study, immigration and diversity are major factors that...
What’s Up With How Others Influence Us?
If you were on the street and suddenly everyone looked up to the sky, would you? The urge would be hard to resist because our brains are influenced by what others are doing. That’s the basis for what Dr. Robert Cialdini calls the Principle of Social Proof. A great...
What’s The Chameleon Effect?
Have you ever noticed yourself adopting the gestures, expressions, or even speech patterns of your friends without consciously intending to do so? This is a fascinating aspect of human behavior tied closely to the psychological principle of liking. In research on...
Who Has the Advantage in Pickleball: The Pro Golfer or the Pro Tennis Player?
All bets were on the pro tennis player and his partner to win their Celebrity Shootout match during the National Pickleball Championships this past week in the Dallas area. Since the event was at my racket club, I watched the match between these two teams: top-ranked...
THE FLIP SIDE TO ZOOM
One criticism I consistently see regarding virtual meetings is that people feel they can’t read others as well on a screen. It’s true we miss feeling “the energy in the room” that we get in person, but as I illustrate in my book “Read The Zoom” you actually get a...
What’s On Your Virtual Meeting Wishlist?
Meta recently demonstrated their latest ambitious offering, in which codec scans will create detailed facial animations in real time for virtual avatars. This could have a significant impact on the way people do business, particularly in virtual meetings. The...
WHAT BLINDS OUR DECISION-MAKING?
“What were they thinking?” In hindsight, we tend to question why smart people put their trust and money behind leaders, like FTX crypto founder Sam Bankman-Fried. I anticipate his current trial will reveal that he used the same persuasive psychology strategies to...
ANSWERING A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION SAYS A LOT
Think about a situation where someone answered a direct question with a question. That’s an avoidance nonverbal behavior. There are different motivations for it, but often answering a direct question with a question signals an issue. For example: “DID YOU TAKE THE...
DON’T MISS OUT ON CRITICAL INSIGHTS AT YOUR MEETINGS
In my consulting work with executives, I’ve observed there are three ingrained habits that can cause you to miss out on what’s really happening at the meeting: Being preoccupied with what you want to say Missing their nonverbal signals because you are paying attention...
CAN NEGATIVE COMMENTS SPARK EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE?
It depends… People respond differently to put-downs. Muhammad Ali once wrote about the high school teacher who told him he wouldn’t amount to anything. On his return home from winning the Olympic gold medal, he stormed into her classroom with the medal, and told her,...
HOW TENNIS STRATEGY HELPS YOU WIN IN BUSINESS
This week, U.S. tennis player Coco Gauff changed her strategy to defeat Jelena Ostapenko at the U.S. Open. After losing to her at the Australian Open in January, Gauff’s coaches advised her to stop hitting hard, fast balls (which she loves)...
COULD MAKING A CONCESSION INCREASE YOUR INFLUENCE?
Yes! It’s counter-intuitive, but when you make a concession during a negotiation, you have a huge opportunity to gain influence. Dr. Robert Cialdini identified this strategy in his Reciprocation Principle. Why does this work? WHEN SOMEONE RECEIVES A GIFT, IT TRIGGERS...
HOW AIRPLANES AND OPEN-CONCEPT OFFICES IMPACT NONVERBALS
On a recent flight, I noticed how many passengers immediately put on their headsets or ear buds and then turn their focus to an electronic device. Often there is no greeting or even eye contact with the people sitting next to them. The clear message is, “I do not want...
WHY YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOURSELF MORE.
It’s no surprise that one of the most influential voices in your life is your own, but are you taking advantage of that? I’m not just talking about the little voice in your head. According to research, talking to yourself out loud can be a powerful tool to help you...
IS THERE A NONVERBAL HEAD NOD “TELL” WHEN YOU GREET PEOPLE?
I’ve seen many articles about how we greet people nonverbally while walking by them on a sidewalk or in a hallway. All the articles are based on men greeting men in situations where there is no intention to do what Larry David refers to as the “stop and...
IS IT HARDER TO READ PEOPLE IN VIRTUAL MEETINGS?
Virtual meetings are not going away. While these are similar to meeting in person, there are differences… and one of the most important involves nonverbal communications. WHAT NONVERBALS ARE MISSING FROM VIRTUAL MEETINGS? In the forward to my book “Read The Zoom,” Joe...
PATRICK MAHOMES INFLUENCES HIS OPPONENTS… AND SO CAN YOU.
I was watching an interview with MVP Patrick Mahomes on the Netflix docuseries “Quarterback” and almost fell off the couch when he said that he purposely compliments the defensive linemen who tackle him. If you watch it, you’ll see film clips of him telling the guys...
Can You Spot the Lie?
When I show audiences how to “read the room” by understanding subtle nonverbal cues, I’m often asked if there are specific signals that prove someone is lying. The answer may surprise you: At this point, no one and no technology can definitively detect a lie 100% of...
Office Body Language Vs. Vacation Body Language
It’s not surprising that most of us feel some level of stress when we are at work. It could be the pressure of deadlines or challenges with coworkers or clients. These feelings show up in our body language. What does mild stress look like in the office? You...
How AI Bots Read Your Nonverbals Without Your knowledge
Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is being leveraged by companies to aid in communications. Most of us have come into contact with this kind of AI through products like Siri and Alexa, but did you know that there are bots being used on video and audio calls to assess...
One-Minute Solution For Avoiding An Email Disaster
Sending and receiving emails – it takes up so much of our business day that many people try to save time by sending without checking for mistakes. I’m not talking about typos (although that doesn’t help your professional image), but rather subtle details that can have...
What is Bag Body Language and what does it say about you?
In case you haven’t heard the term “bag body language,” it refers to the insights revealed by the way you hold your bag or purse. In the past few days, news talk shows from around the country have reached out to me to comment on the topic as their body language...
How Body Language in the Courtroom Informs Executives in the Conference Room
Recently, I’ve been interviewed on news talk shows regarding the nonverbals of witnesses in a high-profile court case. As I was watching the videos, I realized that the nonverbals displayed in the courtroom were the very same ones you might see in business meetings –...
To Zoom or Not to Zoom? That Is The Question New Research Answers.
On Zoom, or any virtual platform, it is hard to be creative because you are paying too much visual attention to the faces on the screen. But virtual platforms are superior to in-person meetings for other kinds of meetings.
How to Thrive in a “Sink or Swim” Economy
I should warn you, the inspiration for this blog came from those who live their whole lives in a “sink or swim” world: the fish in my 125-gallon aquarium. I didn’t ask for this aquarium, but it came with the purchase of our house… and now I’m glad it did. For one...
This Memory Tip Never Fails
Have you ever walked into a room to get something, and then you can’t remember what in the world you needed? Good news – it’s not just you. We’ve all been there.
What a Fly Can Teach You About Zoom
Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the past couple of weeks, you’re aware of the impact one small fly had on the nationally televised U.S. Vice Presidential debate. I don’t want to focus on politics or the candidates, but I would like to share with you how this could help you have more influence when you participate in virtual meetings, whether on Zoom or other platforms.
After COVID, will we continue to work virtually or return to the office?
COVID-19 has changed the way many of us work. People, who never worked virtually, have now become accustomed to it. Some companies are trying to blend the two approaches by alternating when staffers work at home and when they come to the office. Will that become the new normal?
Do Open Office Spaces Lead To Open Communications?
As a consultant who specializes in the science of influencing people, I find myself inside many corporate work places. I’ve noticed a lot of companies have done away with private offices and gone to an open space model. If you ask managers, they’ll tell you the move...
Does working together beat working alone?
Does your company give employees the flexibility to work virtually from home? It’s a growing trend, which many employees like, but what is the impact on productivity? A number of studies have produced some unexpected results. In the next few weeks, I will be looking...
New Research: Doctors’ Words More Potent Than Meds
A doctor with a great bedside manner is often considered a nice bonus – but not a requirement – for patient care. Now, scientific research shows there are compelling reasons for physicians to develop better patient communications skills to improve both the patient...
Can Influence Impact How the Tax Assessor Sees Your Home?
Here is another great illustration of the power of Influence, which shows: “It’s not what you present, but how you present it that influences your outcome.” The property tax protests in my neighborhood played out just as the Science of Influence would have predicted...
Surprising Truth Behind Logical Decisions
The truth is that decisions are not based on logic. In their research, neuroscientists can actually see what areas of the brain light up first when people are asked to make decisions. While most of us want to believe we are using logical thinking – especially for...
How organizations influence your subconscious with nonverbal communications aimed at your senses
Many people do not realize that nonverbal communications encompass far more than just body language… and apply to more than human beings. Places – including your office – send their own nonverbal messages. Even though you may not be conscious of it, your brain...
How monkey business became big business
In case you missed it the first time, the “Monkey Selfie” photo is back in the news. A few years ago, a precocious 6-year-old Indonesian crested macaque monkey named Naruto stole a camera from a professional nature photographer, and took several photos, including a...
Why talking to yourself isn’t crazy
Think about a time when you felt nervous about an important business presentation… Remember how fast your heart was beating before you began to speak. Maybe your throat felt dry as you were giving your presentation. Both are normal stress responses from your brain’s...
What’s the best way to deal with an unethical request from someone in business?
The answer may surprise you… When I took a self-defense course, my black-belt martial arts instructor advised, “The best self-defense is to not put yourself in a vulnerable position in the first place.” Turns out, the same is true in business. A recent study published...
What’s Warren Buffet’s Secret To Instantly Building Trust With Shareholders?
I’ve had the opportunity to learn directly from some of the front-line researchers in the Science of Influence. One of those experts, Dr. Robert Cialdini, was recently quoted on CNBC News about the way billionaire Warren Buffett builds trust through his shareholder...
What is more powerful than money to make behavior changes in your workforce?
When employers want to motivate a change in behavior from their employees, often their first instinct is to use financial incentives. That usually comes in the form of bonuses, contests and other monetary rewards… but, even when they achieve the behavior change, how...
Have you ever made a bad hiring decision?
The more hiring experience you’ve had, the more likely the answer is, “Yes.” You remember how impressed you were at the interview… then when the new hire gets on board, they under perform – or worse – they disrupt your workplace with bad behavior. What influenced you?...
Is your Flextime schedule helping or hurting your career?
In working with both employers and employees, I’ve consulted on the pitfalls of unconscious biases. Recently, I came across one that may be impacting your career path because it involves Flextime programs. On the positive side, research shows Flextime leads to higher...
The Bias Nobody Talks About: The Beauty Bonus
Are looks really important? In studies by both psychologists and economists, the answer keeps coming up “Yes!” University of Texas Economics Professor Daniel Hamermesh reviewed several studies over the years that showed attractive people – both men and women – have a...
Split-second Judgments Make Lasting Impressions
When I speak about Insights from the Science of Influence, most people in my audiences are amazed at how fast we form judgments about others… and how difficult it is for people to change their minds after they form the first impression. A new study from Cornell...
Oxford Dictionaries “Word of the Year” validates The Science of Influence
What is the 2016 “Word of the Year”? If you haven’t heard it, yet, here’s a hint: this newly invented word rose in usage by 2,000% in just the last year. Events like Brexit and the U.S. Presidential Election gave birth to this hyphenated adjective that is officially...
Go Ahead, Float Your Ideas Out There
I was recently visiting the Chihuly Glass and Gardens in Seattle, and was surprised to learn that my favorite glass artist “lives the message” in my TED Talk. If you’ve ever seen his beautiful boats filled with glass floating on water, you may have wondered how Dale...
What’s Stopping You?
It was a thrill to give my first Ted Talk at the TEDxPlano event in Texas! I will send out the video link in about a month when it posts to the TED site. In the meantime, here’s a brief overview… I’ll try not to spoil any of the surprises (of which there were many in...
What’s worse than profanity in email?
Before you bang out a quick email to a client, there’s something you should know about what thrills and what kills your image in email. People are making quick judgments about you based on things you may have never guessed were important. New research shows there are...
Does the way you dress affect the way you think?
Business casual is great, right? Last week I was interviewed by CBS radio talk-show host George Russell about a very interesting study which showed that dressing casually for work may make you feel more comfortable, but it will not help you perform better. In fact,...
What Separates Confidence and Arrogance?
Ever met someone in business who comes across as arrogant? My executive clients say if they sense a person is arrogant, it’s an instant deal-killer. So, what’s the distinction between arrogance and confidence? I heard business author Dr. Alan Weiss...